Wazzup y'all?? *creek creek~
Just now I was listening to Yuna's Terukir Di Bintang. I dunno why, but that song made me feel damned fluttery and a bit romantic HAHA (I know, I know, I get shudders just by writing this.). And so, automatically after listening to the beat again and again and a bit of googling, I did what I always did with any song I can't get out of my head; I sing and use the keyboard to accompany me!! :D
Ok, now that we've gotten over that part, I just wanna talk about BOYS today, or more like BOYFRIEND. Hence,the topic.
As most of you know, I. NEVER. HAD. A. BOYFRIEND.
Okay, that felt good haha. Maybe a bit awkward. Yeah, thing is, I'm not upset over that fact. To tell you the truth, I have tons of friends who are in relationships and as far as I'm concerned, being single gives you more freedom and more fun cause you never have to worry about any significant half etc..
Doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship.
Again,since I've never had any relationship of that sort, I'm always curious. Of what? Well, what you do with your other half, why must teddy bears and flowers be involved, and WHY, WHY do we use icky words (baby, anje, papa & mama (EEW!) , darling etc.).
To be honest, I'm the type of girl that hates words that are too sweet coming from random guy who's just trying to hit on you. Once you're in a relationship that's fine, but as strangers, do you really have to use lovey dovey words?? It makes my skin crawl. Maybe I'm just weird. Or maybe I've never met a guy who can turn me into a total mush by a single word.
I always wondered why I am not able to grab myself a guy. But I guess everyone's different.
Or maybe I'm just too much of a weirdo. Um,I'm just gonna find some comfort now. *munching chocolates*
But I have done some thinking and I whattaya know, I found some theories which might or might not have caused the reason for my lack of love life. Let's start with
1) I watched too many (Korean) Dramas, Movies.
Yeah, I'm a drama addict. Not just Korean, Hollywood (HAMAIGADD One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl ), Japanese, even Malay (me likey Aaron Aziz XD). Apparently dramas are my coping mechanism of escaping bitter realities I sometimes get. Obviously almost every drama is unrealistic, I mean, come on, good looking and rich and has six pack not to mention superb manners hero falling for some common chick in a cheesy situation? That rarely happens in real life. I know that. But that doesn't mean I never hoped for it. I guess by having that hope, I put too much expectation in finding my other half thus narrowing my chances of ever finding one which takes me to #2:
2) Most Guys Are Jerks/Not Husband Material.
It's kinda true ya know (no offense to the male species, especially the fine ones). I met quite a number of men (okayyy maybee not that many cause I'm kinda an antisocial person at times especially with men) and most of them taught me many lessons, mainly about MEN ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED FULLY UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE.
For example, I have met, and actually thought to give a shot to this one pathetic excuse of a man. Turns out, he was just another playah~. And he was not even good-looking. And likes to brag. Urgh, what was I thinking? Oh well, I was young and naive. But the good thing is I learned not to trust men so easily after that. And I learn that people are capable of deceiving to the extreme. So better to hang out with my friends, doing crazy stuff and just doing my own thing, thus we come to #3
3) I Value My Freedom & Independence.
Well, I like to do many things on my own (eat alone, shop alone, play music alone). Okay, I'm not saying that I enjoy being kera sumbang, but doing things on my own without having to wait on others is much more convenient. I also like to do spontaneous stuff with my friends without telling other people first, except for my mum. So if I am to be in a relationship, I need to get someone who is not a controlling ass. That's the hard part. That's why I am so picky. Sheesh.
Despite of all things above, I will not deny that I would love to get someone to share my life with someday, to grow old together, build a family together, and just be my best friend in everything. Hee, I'm starting to get mushy now. Better stop it.
Okay I'm done ranting. Maybe one day someone will come across this post and just sweep me off my feet just like in a fairytale. A girl can dream lalala~
Till then,
Love,
B.
