Hey hey hey,
Today jumpa lagi my cute nephew. Phew, it was tiring having to humor him. No wonder my sis is skinny -.- Anyway, he's back to kL already so here I am, sitting in front of lappy, wanting to talk about, well, basically one of the most wonderful thing I have ever came across in my 22 year old life, which is...... MUSIC!!
Let me tell you a bit about my music exposure. You see, I grew up in a quite liberal house environment (well, compared to some of my friends, at least) where my mom is not too strict about entertainment her kids indulged in, as long as it's appropriate. So I was exposed to music during an early stage of my life. We had a small piano and some simple music note sheets (some destroyed by me) and me and my sisters would always watch music videos back in the 90's. We all love N'Sync (who doesn't??) BSB, The Moffats, Britney Spears etc..(Give me any 90's song, I can sing-a-long, well most of them heee~). My sisters also loved listening to radio, which eventually grew on me and therefore I have learned to love and appreciate music as early as I learned to read hoho.
When I was in primary school, my sis learned to play guitar. She would always play simple but nice songs in her room and I loved listening to them, especially one particular song, Romance. It has a nice tune and I could just sleep listening to that. When I was in secondary school, punk rock bands (e.g.Good Charlotte) became popular and I always keep myself updated with the songs. I was always depressed at school (peer pressure, self-image and esteem, bullies) and music was my best company. I love songs that are related to my life, songs that are giving me advise, and songs that simply made me happy. It's like I live in my own world, I would forget my unhappiness in school when I listened to those kinds of songs. School eventually got better, though I still kept my habit of listening to songs that made me feel happy. When I got into college, my sister gave me an mp3 which I carried around everywhere. It's like, I'm addicted to songs. I just can't live without them. And then I met a good friend of mine. She has a liking for classical and instrumental music which I found peculiar at first, but eventually that got me addicted as well. That kind of music made me feel at ease and it was a fresh breath of air. So when I started listening to that, I wished that I could play the song with my own hands. Hence, I learned how to play piano muahahahahha.
Okay, so far I basically told you the histories of my life which are related to why I learned to play piano. Well, at first I was suggested to play keyboard since I could only attend my lessons within three months during my summer holiday and the class is only half an hour per week, therefore we are basically competing with time, hence keyboard would be an obvious choice since it's not too hard and no need for test etc. However, I did not feel satisfied by learning only simple keyboard notes and I wanted more, thus I decided to learn piano during the next holiday, which is, of course, in three month's time as well. I practiced hard and pushed myself until my teacher praised me of being able to progress fast and can adapt myself to various playing methods (hee~). I managed to finish one book(which usually takes almost a year for a normal student to finish) within 3 months and I bought another book so that I can practice by myself. I did not go to classes anymore at this very moment, however, I have learned enough basics to be able to play simple to moderate songs that I desire. I learned how to play mostly by using my ears and not depending on notes. I dunno why, but I could guess where the notes are sometimes just by listening to the song carefully. It just comes naturally for me, maybe the result of relentlessly listening to music since toddler(?). That's why during my lessons, I would always ask my teacher to play the song for me beforehand once and I can easily follow and relate afterwards since I rely on my hearing abilities (Song Sam Dong much??nahhh..hahaha). But sometimes she would ask me to play an unfamiliar song sheet and that's where I got busted, since though I'm capable of playing using music sheets, I am really slow in that department =.=. So right now, if I hear a song that I liked, I would listen to the background beats in the song and guess the notes. Once I get a hang of the basic beats, it's all up to my own creativity of manipulating the melody. Some people rely on the notes, I just rely on my ears. I'm not saying that's a talent (I did found people like me you know, so it's not unheard of) , just saying it's an easier method for me to learn and pick up. While hearing comes naturally for me, I never said that it was easy for me to manipulate the melody and turn it into something nice for others to hear. Be as it may, I could lose myself in front of the piano the whole day, composing the notes together using my ear and I would not feel bored or fed up with it. Why? Cause.I.LOVE.IT. It gives me a thrill when I finally managed to play a whole song and I feel at peace and happy while I'm at it, making me forget my troubles and just concentrate my mind into the beautiful sound of melody flowing, made by my own dancing fingers.. *sigh*...ok maybe ayat tu agk dramatic tp btol la..that's how I feel :). The funny thing is, I can only play happily when I'm on my own. I tend to screw up if there's someone present and tambah2 kalau ade org yg pandai main piano. The peace is somehow gone and I can't concentrate on the music flow (probably due to nervousness and lack of confidence). So I prefer to play in solitude. Yea yea, call me antisocial. I feel comfortable when I'm alone. That's who I am.
That's why I always admire a talented musician. To me, their talent and hard work is just so amazing and if only I can be like them. Oh well, a girl can dream. I've settled on having playing piano as my hobby though ^^. Maybe someday, I can further it into more than just a hobby. Life is certainly full of uncertainties right?
Anyway, enough of my babbling..I realized that I never put pictures in any of my posts right??well I will try to put one picture related to my next upcoming post. Then my non-existent readers can see my round cute face next time. Hee~ Till then, see ya fellas, have a nice weekend!!
Peace out,
B.
Morning people,
Just now, I was actually lying in my bed, lights off, and all ready to doze off. Before sleeping, I usually have this habit of lying in the dark and ponder upon my life (my past, future, and especially present) and suddenly I have this urge to write down my thoughts so that I would not forget it. Recently, I have mentioned that I have quit my job right? Well, that is true, and I am currently occupying myself with loads of activities and jobs(will talk bout that later). Being jobless (at least in the geology department) made me realize a few things:
1) Geology is a hard field to enter fresh, albeit the small amount of graduates.
Sadly that is true, at least from my personal experience. I have been applying, applying and applying until I could memorize my cover letter that I wrote to every time I applied. But all I've got is rejection, or worse, no reply at all. I did get a few offers, but the salary is so damned low that I might as well pretend I didn't have any degree to begin with. That may sound demanding or snobbish, but let's face it, the money must at least worth the work I will be doing. That's my utmost motivation for doing the job, which brings us to point number 2:
2) Geology is no longer my #1 *gasps*
You see, I do love geology. A LOT. Why take it in the first place if I didn't like it? and being under scho*uhuks*LOANship did not hurt my love for it as well. But geology during university and geology in working life could not differ more than Sam Dong and Jin Hyuk, the former being my favorite and gets me all happy, excited and amazed while the latter just spells dull and difficult, not to mention, stressful. It's so frustrating that both seemed to look promising on the outside, but their insides give me different feelings once I've discovered them. Not just talking about the oppas, of course. Heee~. So that kinda de-motivated me. If I could not get a good pay for doing something that I find uninteresting and pressuring, why do it? Lg rase crappier ade la. So that is one of the reasons why I wanted to pursue sewing, which brings us to point number 3:
3) A degree in Geology does not compel you to work in geology field.
Let me tell you something. When I was in my final year, I talked with some of my close peeps where we imagined ourselves as successful geologists, where we worked with OnG companies, going offshores, being bad-ass chicks riding on helis and gets all the $$$$ in the world. Here comes the Bitch-Slap: That fantasy only came true to some of us, and I wasn't on the boat. That boat sailed and I was practically left to drown. Good thing I knew a thing or two about swimming, or at least, uh, float. I did feel dejected at first; I mean, it wasn't as if I'm that stupid or I did not have any skill, but let me tell you a secret (well, not a secret anymore la kan) : I've never quite convinced myself with the geology fantasy, I've never quite seen myself working offshores and being bad-ass, ( I mean, let's face it, I'm not even that tough to begin with muahahaha ) but I did see myself doing software works, mapping seismic n stuff though. So when I didn't get offshore job, at first I was pissed coz my friends got the interview ( Y u no interview me??) but when I think about it, it didn't sting to the point I wanna crawl up and die, coz I realized I did not want it that badly, it's just, my pride got hurt seeing my friends beat me with their resumes. Since I have not gotten any luck with the software part, I am opening myself up to new opportunities. I used to think that I have to find geology jobs cause, um, that's what my degree is all about. But when the bitch-slap came, I was forced to reconsider my sheltered thinking. I was forced to get out of my safety zone and consider more ways to earn a living in this world. It was one of the best things that happened to me, ironically, cause had I kept my job, I would always be restricted to geology and geology only. Which zones to point 4:
4) Never look up/down or judge on other people's profession/choices.
Bitch-Slap (yeah, my new fav word) has never been this good or refreshing. It sent me sprawling to the ground and gave me a good look at the world while I'm down on the cold hard ground instead of standing ignorantly happy in cloud 9. Now that I know how hard it is to earn a job, I have a newfound appreciation for working class people, no matter what their profession is. I have never condoned judging a person's choice unless it interferes with my life,thank God for that. But I have been an ignorant person. I have underestimated the efforts that other people gave in order to earn a living no matter what they do. I once thought that by entering high-paid professions such as engineer or *coughs* geology, I would be successful and uh, happy (shallow and ignorant, I know.) I'm only human, cut me some slacks. But again, after quitting. I had loads of time to do other jobs and mingle with people, and I realized, each professions, be it engineer, tailors, clerks, teachers, idols or pizza deliveries, deserves equal appreciations. Just because you're an engineer or a doctor does not mean you're all haughty-mighty or better and happier than others. That is a WRONG perception. Unless he/she is a thief ( with the exception of 'If Tomorrow Comes') or a swindler, NEVER JUDGE a person's profession. It's an individual choice and others should not question upon it. Karma's a bitch remember? You might be up right now, but as gravity dictates, what goes up must come down. Thank Einstein for his theory of relativity. There are many ways to earn money in this world, the most IMPORTANT thing is that you put your EFFORTS and CREATIVITY into it. If you are a hypocrite that needs to judge something about others in order to feel good about yourself, then judge THAT.
5) Patience is, and will always be a virtue.
Reality is always rainy and stormy, almost never sunny. That's why I always indulged in K-dramaland. Cause they provided me with an escape from the bitter truth and keeps me optimistic ^^. But that does not mean I can't except cold, hard facts of life (what have I been babbling about these past 10 minutes then? 0.0). Just that I don't like to dwell negatively upon it. What's the point of crushing yourself up with negative thoughts? Better learn to let bitter facts go and find a solution for a balance in your reality. I'm not saying it has been easy for me, but I am learning to let go and think positively, although I do have breakdown moments. Cause I'm a human, not a freakin' happy-all-the-time doll. That is why we have to be patient. I am currently practicing that heheh. I am right now pursuing my plan ( Will update later) with a fueled spirit and effort. Success does not come overnight, unless you are, well, Chuck Bass. So I'll just have to strive for the best and hopefully find my way in this world, InsyaAllah ^^.
Whew, that's a lot of brain pouring I've done tonight. And it has started raining. Perfect time to sleep. So off I go! Hope my sharing helped you guys see the world better, or maybe I was the one who was late to see it like this =.=. Ok toodles~
Peace out,
B.
