Evenin govnah,
Last friday was yours truly's Birthday ( I'm 23 yeay ^^,). So it was quite a nasty day for me cause I reached home and slept at 2am and woke up at 5am since I had to go for um, you-know-what (for those who knew la). When I reached home again at 2pm, the only thing I did was sleeping the WHOLE DAY. Yes, I slept through my birthday. And the worst part is that only SOME of my supposedly FRIENDS remembered my birthday enough to wish it to me. Sad, I know. But the best thing happened the next day where my mom took me for a lunch in kL and she bought me a gift!! Which is a gorgeous Charles&Keith bag. I was so happy the whole day since well, I never had any proper hand bag. All I had was some sling bag that I took everywhere when I was in campus. Now dh keje, kene la up sket kan heeee~. Oh, did I tell you that I got a job already? Yeap I did. It's not geology, rest assured, but an entirely different field. I will disclose it later. What I wanted to talk about is about my experience in job hunting (again) but in an entirely different perspective respect to the topic.
Okay, so I recently found out that I am a very,VERY prideful person. No, not the egoistic type like most men are, but the kind that does not take insults well towards her achievements. I struggled with my inner-self these past months despite all the advice I had given in my previous post (the patience-is-a-virtue stuff). Mostly I had conflict where I feel that I am not up to par with my peers who apparently managed to succeed getting jobs in our field. Don't get me wrong, I like what I'm doing right now, albeit the different stuff. I still stand by my preach about not judging others by profession. But somehow, I actually wanted to have a work related to geology at first, and I did get it, and then I resigned, which is a right decision as far as I'm concerned. However it feels kinda weird that I am doing something entirely different from my peers and that is why I am struggling right now cause, I'm not sure whether it's a good weird, or a bad one. The environment at my new workplace is kinda nice and I am really looking forward working there but some part of me misses geology. And it hurts to think that some of my friends got them easily while I struggled to find opportunities. Which is why I find it hard to talk about my new work to most of my friends at first, cause that would mean that I am sort of officially declaring to not be in our field, which is something that we used to have in common. And I felt insecure of what they would think of me. Like I said, I don't give a damn bout what others think but I do care for the opinions of my friends Or their prejudice.
Then again, I think that if they are really my friends, they're gonna have to accept me for the way I am and not be critical about me. I need to learn to trust people and if I don't want people to judge me, I should not have judged their reactions first. Like I said, we humans ain't perfect. So I gotta improve myself and learn to respect myself. If not, who else will respect me right? It did hurt that some of my friends thought that I was wasting my time hunting for jobs and some of them thought that I was foolish to resign from my previous job. One of them even thought that I will not succeed getting a new job and it was foolish of me to go into a new field. Yeap, I got a little bit defensive and my self-esteem was a bit crushed because of that, but now I realized that if I don't judge myself too hard, no one can. People may try but I wouldn't let them get to me. Cause I plan to be a tough cookie, and a very pretty one heheh. Life is quite funny though. Never thought I would see myself embarking into a totally different field. But I hopped into the unknown field boat, and I plan to sail with it and see where it leads me to :D. Life is unpredictable heh.
Peace out.
B.
