Never Say Never

 What up yo!

How are things everyone?mine is good so far. My weekends, as usual were filled with many activities. Last week I unexpectedly went to Broga. I was planning to spend my weekend curled up in my blanket with a hot milo to soothe my feverish flu, and have a series of marathon with all Nicholas Sparks movies and do some drooling over the sight of Ryan Gosling, Shane West, Channing Tatum etc....

THEN

My friend texted me on saturday night, telling me they're going to Broga. That very night. No preludes, no heads up. @.@. I was so damned torn up between getting my fever down while watching my imaginary boyfriends or to go to Broga with these dummies(my friends) whom I have not met for quite some time. Alas, the promise of nature and feet aches triumphed the sanctuary of my comfy blanket. So I got ready,packed my bags & stuff, no exercise, no nothing (I know I will pay for that) and 2 hours later, my peeps came to my house and off we went to Broga. We actually got a lil bit lost on the way there, but thanks to Mr GPS, somehow we managed to reach there at 2.30 in the morning. But of course, whenever I travel with these dummies, our adventures would always include eating. And this time, we made barbecues at the parking space in Broga,since well, no one was around, so we treat the place like our bapak punya tanah. We ate chicken,hot dogs and some junkfood. Again, I did not stretch, did not have any extreme exercise for the last 2 months and I ate hot dogs before hiking. Oh, did I mention that we hiked right after we ate?Yeap we did. 

We started our journey around 4am. At first we got a bit lost cause it was dark and we only have 2 torchlights. Somehow we got back on the right track and started hiking for real. We went and went and went   slowly, I guess, as I have night blindness so I kept on bising2 suruh suluh lampu. Thank God my friends were patient people. If not, maybe they would hv thrown me into some gaung there muahahahah. So we kept hiking until we reach some flat surface and took a rest there. At that moment I felt the chicken I ate, coming back to my throat with vengeance. I took a deep breath and thought to myself "pdn muka Bella, sape suh x exercise slalu, kan dh terseksa lg time hiking instead of enjoying urself". Yeap, I deserved that. So after mentally hitting myself, we continued our journey to the first peak. The trail was not that hard actually, but somehow I lost my courage after a year of not doing outdoor activities and I forgot all my experiences in hiking. Ok, I might not be a pro,but I ain't no quitter, I'm the type who will try my best to finish something that I've started. Only then will I not have any regrets if I was not able to finish it. Because I know I've tried my best.

Sooo,after my whinings, mostly about me being heavy, and after climbing steep rocks and me being gedik endlessly haha, we finally reached the peak. I was kinda surprised that we reached it so fast cause I thought I would be in pure torture or sumthing before we reach the peak. But let me tell you something, when you have your friends with you, and you did not concentrate on the endless path ahead, but concentrate on the path you are currently trotting into, you will not feel that the goal was too hard to be achieved/reached. At least that works for me. I applied it to my experience in life as well. Do not concentrate on the endless path ahead. It will only bring you down mentally as you will be questioning when you will reach the peak. Concentrate on the path that you are currently stepping into, that way, you will be more careful about taking the best step and trot your way up safely and who knows, the peak might be nearer than you think. Get what I mean?But jgn la x tgk dpn lgsg smpi xnmpk pape dh. There's no harm in looking up sometimes, just to set your expectation and whether you are on the path that you feel is right. But don't do that all the time as it will blind you with the path that you are currently in. Go deep for a while with me here ok? miahahahahhaa

Ok after we reached the peak, we lepak2 there for a while, snapped some pictures, talking with each other (I did the talking mostly, cause others were just sleeping and yawning, I seemed to hv a talent for endless chatter.) After a while we decided to get down and find a bigger spot for sunrise as the peak was starting to get crowded. So down we went. I got to play a bit of damsel in distress while climbing down the steep ropes as stranger guys who were going up were all ready to ever be the gentlemen in helping me and my girlfriends down the ropes. Since I am the type who gets down clumsily, those stranger guys were so damned worried that I might slide and hurt myself. Well, I get scratches and bruises all the time and never cared bout them, but then, chucking my independent female principles for a while, I accepted all the help I got haha. It's nice to be a girl sometimes. Yes, think of what you want on my statement. I don't care miahahaha. So we went to a bigger spot, lay down our tent (for landing purposes) and waited for the sunrise.

SO THE SUNRISE CAME. at 7.20 am.

And we snapped pictures here and there, I did some camwhoring, took some random pics. And after spending an hour there, we started hiking down. I took my time going down as I was busy taking pictures, and apart from that, I had horrible experience of going down during my trip to Mt Kinabalu. If it were not for my friend who stayed with me during my agonizing trip of going down, I'd prolly roll myself down somewhere and rot there till someone comes and rescue me. But Broga wasn't as bad as that. I had no trouble going down. My friend waited for me patiently and so I went down ,sliding down happily, albeit a bit of leg pain. After all of us reached the parking spot, we had ice cream and after a bit of bahan2 each other(mostly aku yg kene), I had to go back cause I have something to attend to on that evening.

So I went home, leg hurting, smelling like a cod fish, and happy as a clam. Hiking always bring me pain,sweat,bruises,makes me look like a helpless fish while climbing and I fall down easily coz I'm a clumsy person. But I get satisfaction from doing it. Why? Because it tests my strength mentally and my perseverance towards achieving my goal. I felt like crying and quitting sometimes, but somehow I did not want to, because I want to test my limits to the extreme, until my legs fail me 100%, until I can't talk or smile.And besides, I think I look cool when I reach the top, even though my face looks like mcm nk mati and my baju is all comot. Besides, I feel calm when I am with nature. So that's why I still like to do it. But I will start exercise again this week and make sure that I am ready when those dummies comes up with last minute plan (yeah, we usually do that).

So here are some pictures that I managed to snap for our trip ^^

Zee view from zee top

We are tough females

One of my camwhoring moments

While waiting for sunrise heeee~

Before total sunrise

There.Put some pics in my blog finally. Muahahahahha

Anyhoo, I am looking forward to go hiking again..maybe somewhere tougher next time? (ceh, berlagak, satg pancit ayam). Moral of the story, PLEASE exercise at least TWICE a week people. Not just for losing weight, but to build stamina and strengthen your body in the long run. I will remind myself to go dance on my dance mat shall I be too lazy to go jogging ngehehehehe...

Till then, so long peeps, Happy working tomorrow on MONDAY (Eep!) T.T

Peace out,

B.

A sprinkle of optimism in the midst of calamities~

What up peeps,

Been a while since my last post. Been busy with many things you know. Life is hard, indeed. But now, I am happier. I have not exactly ridden my inner conflicts fully, but I am trying my best. Time is a very strong ally with me now to heal things and get me back up on my two pretty feet (vain sket). I have gotten a permanent job. Where it is, I'd rather not disclose it here, so publicly. It's not as easy as I thought it was initially, but I don't really feel too depressed about it like I did with the previous job. Oh, and it's not geology. Funny how things work out heh? The pay is not too bad, and I kinda like the environment, which is the most important thing to me. I've worked for a couple of months, barely had time to rest coz my weekends are filled with classes and activities. But the main point is, I AM HAPPY!!

Happy. That, I am. But since I've worked here, it got me thinking, about the purpose of life. The purpose of work. We work 5 days per week (for normal people), so 70% of our lives are spent on our workplace. Then it got me thinking, why do people work? Ok, the obvious reason would be to earn money. I'm all for that. After all, money talks in this world right? But it got me thinking, different people have different goals and purposes in their career. Some want to advance and build a career because that is their definition of success. Some just wanted a job to have money to buy food and pay for rents every month. Some just want a job to kill time and look for other opportunities. I'm not saying any of them is wrong, cause those things are subjective. It's a prerogative that each human has and I'm not going to judge any of it. But the more I see the working class people, the more it got me thinking, what is my prerogative? What do I want to do with my life?

I have seen my friends, working in fields that are popular and promising in our country. They have money, they have careers, everyone is looking up and in awe with their career path. But ironically, some of my friends are not really that happy with what they are doing, even though they supposedly have everything. So, what is the point of us working actually? We want money, yes, but if we are not happy, what does it mean? So are we to do something that we don't like for the sake of money? Is it worth it?

I don't know about others, but for me, I am still optimistic about the thing that I love and make it as something that I do for a living. I love geology, but somehow fate has its twisted way of not letting me in that field. No worries, I have managed to get into another field. But somehow, I wanted more. I don't want my life to be only a routine of doing job, come back home, earn salary, get married, have children, then die. I want my life to be colourful, full of joy, unpredictable, adventurous and most importantly, HAPPY. So I am still struggling to achieve what I love most, and to make it as something that I do for a living. You all know what I love right? So I am still studying, slowly. But the most important thing is, I will not give up. I'll become that freaking turtle in the race. Slow, but steadily going. I am going to do something that I love for a living and  I sure as hell will make my life interesting. I will go traveling, eat good food, do crazy stuff, find someone to share my life with and most important of all, I will make sure that I have no regrets in my life. It's too short for me to become pessimistic and not appreciating it.

Ok, that's all I want to share and blab for today. I'm too lazy to put any pictures here. Just go to my facebook and stalk my pictures. Habis cerita. Well, I'm gonna sleep now coz tomorrow is Monday. Time to work people. Night. Let us all be happy and optimistic. Always. 


Peace out,
B.

A Quantum of PRIDE & a Whole Lot of PREJUDICE

Evenin govnah,

Last friday was yours truly's Birthday ( I'm 23 yeay ^^,). So it was quite a nasty day for me cause I reached home and slept at 2am and woke up at 5am since I had to go for um, you-know-what (for those who knew la). When I reached home again at 2pm, the only thing I did was sleeping the WHOLE DAY. Yes, I slept through my birthday. And the worst part is that only SOME of my supposedly FRIENDS remembered my birthday enough to wish it to me. Sad, I know. But the best thing happened the next day where my mom took me for a lunch in kL and she bought me a gift!! Which is a gorgeous Charles&Keith bag. I was so happy the whole day since well, I never had any proper hand bag. All I had was some sling bag that I took everywhere when I was in campus. Now dh keje, kene la up sket kan heeee~. Oh, did I tell you that I got a job already? Yeap I did. It's not geology, rest assured, but an entirely different field. I will disclose it later. What I wanted to talk about is about my experience in job hunting (again) but in an entirely different perspective respect to the topic.

Okay, so I recently found out that I am a very,VERY prideful person. No, not the egoistic type like most men are, but the kind that does not take insults well towards her achievements. I struggled with my inner-self these past months despite all the advice I had given in my previous post (the patience-is-a-virtue stuff). Mostly I had conflict where I feel that I am not up to par with my peers who apparently managed to succeed getting jobs in our field. Don't get me wrong, I like what I'm doing right now, albeit the different stuff. I still stand by my preach about not judging others by profession. But somehow, I actually wanted to have a work related to geology at first, and I did get it, and then I resigned, which is a right decision as far as I'm concerned. However it feels kinda weird that I am doing something entirely different from my peers and that is why I am struggling right now cause, I'm not sure whether it's a good weird, or a bad one. The environment at my new workplace is kinda nice and I am really looking forward working there but some part of me misses geology. And it hurts to think that some of my friends got them easily while I struggled to find opportunities. Which is why I find it hard to talk about my new work to most of my friends at first, cause that would mean that I am sort of officially declaring to not be in our field, which is something that we used to have in common. And I felt insecure of what they would think of me. Like I said, I don't give a damn bout what others think but I do care for the opinions of my friends Or their prejudice.

Then again, I think that if they are really my friends, they're gonna have to accept me for the way I am and not be critical about me. I need to learn to trust people and if I don't want people to judge me, I should not have judged their reactions first. Like I said, we humans ain't perfect. So I gotta improve myself and learn to respect myself. If not, who else will respect me right? It did hurt that some of my friends thought that I was wasting my time hunting for jobs and some of them thought that I was foolish to resign from my previous job. One of them even thought that I will not succeed getting a new job and it was foolish of me to go into a new field. Yeap, I got a little bit defensive and my self-esteem was a bit crushed because of that, but now I realized that if I don't judge myself too hard, no one can. People may try but I wouldn't let them get to me. Cause I plan to be a tough cookie, and a very pretty one heheh. Life is quite funny though. Never thought I would see myself embarking into a totally different field. But I hopped into the unknown field boat, and I plan to sail with it and see where it leads me to :D. Life is unpredictable heh.


Peace out.
B.

The Grace of Hearing for a Solitude Seeking Mind~

Hey hey hey,

Today jumpa lagi my cute nephew. Phew, it was tiring having to humor him. No wonder my sis is skinny -.-  Anyway, he's back to kL already so here I am, sitting in front of lappy, wanting to talk about, well, basically one of the most wonderful thing I have ever came across in my 22 year old life, which is...... MUSIC!! 

Let me tell you a bit about my music exposure. You see, I grew up in a quite liberal house environment (well, compared to some of my friends, at least) where my mom is not too strict about entertainment her kids indulged in, as long as it's appropriate. So I was exposed to music during an early stage of my life. We had a small piano and some simple music note sheets (some destroyed by me) and me and my sisters would always watch music videos back in the 90's. We all love N'Sync (who doesn't??) BSB, The Moffats, Britney Spears etc..(Give me any 90's song, I can sing-a-long, well most of them heee~). My sisters also loved listening to radio, which eventually grew on me and therefore I have learned to love and appreciate music as early as I learned to read hoho.

When I was in primary school, my sis learned to play guitar. She would always play simple but nice songs in her room and I loved listening to them, especially one particular song, Romance. It has a nice tune and I could just sleep listening to that. When I was in secondary school, punk rock bands (e.g.Good Charlotte) became popular and I always keep myself updated with the songs. I was always depressed at school (peer pressure, self-image and esteem, bullies) and music was my best company. I love songs that are related to my life, songs that are giving me advise, and songs that simply made me happy. It's like I live in my own world, I would forget my unhappiness in school when I listened to those kinds of songs. School eventually got better, though I still kept my habit of listening to songs that made me feel happy. When I got into college, my sister gave me an mp3 which I carried around everywhere. It's like, I'm addicted to songs. I just can't live without them. And then I met a good friend of mine. She has a liking for classical and instrumental music which I found peculiar at first, but eventually that got me addicted as well. That kind of music made me feel at ease and it was a fresh breath of air. So when I started listening to that, I wished that I could play the song with my own hands. Hence, I learned how to play piano muahahahahha.

Okay, so far I basically told you the histories of my life which are related to why I learned to play piano. Well, at first I was suggested to play keyboard since I could only attend my lessons within three months during my summer holiday and the class is only half an hour per week, therefore we are basically competing with time, hence keyboard would be an obvious choice since it's not too hard and no need for test etc. However, I did not feel satisfied by learning only simple keyboard notes and I wanted more, thus I decided to learn piano during the next holiday, which is, of course, in three month's time as well. I practiced hard and pushed myself until my teacher praised me of being able to progress fast and can adapt myself to various playing methods (hee~). I managed to finish one book(which usually takes almost a year for a normal student to finish) within 3 months and I bought another book so that I can practice by myself. I did not go to classes anymore at this very moment, however, I have learned enough basics to be able to play simple to moderate songs that I desire. I learned how to play mostly by using my ears and not depending on notes. I dunno why, but I could guess where the notes are sometimes just by listening to the song carefully. It just comes naturally for me, maybe the result of relentlessly listening to music since toddler(?). That's why during my lessons, I would always ask my teacher to play the song for me beforehand once and I can easily follow and relate afterwards since I rely on my hearing abilities (Song Sam Dong much??nahhh..hahaha). But sometimes she would ask me to play an unfamiliar song sheet and that's where I got busted, since though I'm capable of playing using music sheets, I am really slow in that department =.=. So right now, if I hear a song that I liked, I would listen to the background beats in the song and guess the notes. Once I get a hang of the basic beats, it's all up to my own creativity of manipulating the melody. Some people rely on the notes, I just rely on my ears. I'm not saying that's a talent (I did found people like me you know, so it's not unheard of) , just saying it's an easier method for me to learn and pick up. While hearing comes naturally for me, I never said that it was easy for me to manipulate the melody and turn it into something nice for others to hear. Be as it may, I could lose myself in front of the piano the whole day, composing the notes together using my ear and I would not feel bored or fed up with it. Why? Cause.I.LOVE.IT. It gives me a thrill when I finally managed to play a whole song and I feel at peace and happy while I'm at it, making me forget my troubles and just concentrate my mind into the beautiful sound of melody flowing, made by my own dancing fingers.. *sigh*...ok maybe ayat tu agk dramatic tp btol la..that's how I feel :). The funny thing is, I can only play happily when I'm on my own. I tend to screw up if there's someone present and tambah2 kalau ade org yg pandai main piano. The peace is somehow gone and I can't concentrate on the music flow (probably due to nervousness and lack of confidence). So I prefer to play in solitude. Yea yea, call me antisocial. I feel comfortable when I'm alone. That's who I am. 

That's why I always admire a talented musician. To me, their talent and hard work is just so amazing and if only I can be like them. Oh well, a girl can dream. I've settled on having playing piano as my hobby though ^^. Maybe someday, I can further it into more than just a hobby. Life is certainly full of uncertainties right?

Anyway, enough of my babbling..I realized that I never put pictures in any of my posts right??well I will try to put one picture related to my next upcoming post. Then my non-existent readers can see my round cute face next time. Hee~ Till then, see ya fellas, have a nice weekend!!

Peace out,
B.

A Taste of Bitter, but Refreshing Humble Pie

Morning people,

Just now, I was actually lying in my bed, lights off, and all ready to doze off. Before sleeping, I usually have this habit of lying in the dark and ponder upon my life (my past, future, and especially present) and suddenly I have this urge to write down my thoughts so that I would not forget it. Recently, I have mentioned that I have quit my job right? Well, that is true, and I am currently occupying myself with loads of activities and jobs(will talk bout that later). Being jobless (at least in the geology department) made me realize a few things:

1) Geology is a hard field to enter fresh, albeit the small amount of graduates.

Sadly that is true, at least from my personal experience. I have been applying, applying and applying until I could memorize my cover letter that I wrote to every time I applied. But all I've got is rejection, or worse, no reply at all. I did get a few offers, but the salary is so damned low that I might as well pretend I didn't have any degree to begin with. That may sound demanding or snobbish, but let's face it, the money must at least worth the work I will be doing. That's my utmost motivation for doing the job, which brings us to point number 2:

2) Geology is no longer my #1 *gasps*

You see, I do love geology. A LOT. Why take it in the first place if I didn't like it? and being under scho*uhuks*LOANship did not hurt my love for it as well. But geology during university and geology in working life could not differ more than Sam Dong and Jin Hyuk, the former being my favorite and gets me all happy, excited and amazed while the latter just spells dull and difficult, not to mention, stressful. It's so frustrating that both seemed to look promising on the outside, but their insides give me different feelings once I've discovered them. Not just talking about the oppas, of course. Heee~. So that kinda de-motivated me. If I could not get a good pay for doing something that I find uninteresting and pressuring, why do it? Lg rase crappier ade la. So that is one of the reasons why I wanted to pursue sewing, which brings us to point number 3:

3) A degree in Geology does not compel you to work in geology field.

Let me tell you something. When I was in my final year, I talked with some of my close peeps where we imagined ourselves as successful geologists, where we worked with OnG companies, going offshores, being bad-ass chicks riding on helis and gets all the $$$$ in the world. Here comes the Bitch-Slap: That fantasy only came true to some of us, and I wasn't on the boat. That boat sailed and I was practically left to drown. Good thing I knew a thing or two about swimming, or at least, uh, float. I did feel dejected at first; I mean, it wasn't as if I'm that stupid or I did not have any skill, but let me tell you a secret (well, not a secret anymore la kan) : I've never quite convinced myself with the geology fantasy, I've never quite seen myself working offshores and being bad-ass, ( I mean, let's face it, I'm not even that tough to begin with muahahaha ) but I did see myself doing software works, mapping seismic n stuff though. So when I didn't get offshore job, at first I was pissed coz my friends got the interview ( Y u no interview me??) but when I think about it, it didn't sting to the point I wanna crawl up and die, coz I realized I did not want it that badly, it's just, my pride got hurt seeing my friends beat me with their resumes. Since I have not gotten any luck with the software part, I am opening myself up to new opportunities. I used to think that I have to find geology jobs cause, um, that's what my degree is all about. But when the bitch-slap came, I was forced to reconsider my sheltered thinking. I was forced to get out of my safety zone and consider more ways to earn a living in this world. It was one of the best things that happened to me, ironically, cause had I kept my job, I would always be restricted to geology and geology only. Which zones to point 4:

4) Never look up/down or judge on other people's profession/choices.

Bitch-Slap (yeah, my new fav word) has never been this good or refreshing. It sent me sprawling to the ground and gave me a good look at the world while I'm down on the cold hard ground instead of standing ignorantly happy in cloud 9. Now that I know how hard it is to earn a job, I have a newfound appreciation for working class people, no matter what their profession is. I have never condoned judging a person's choice unless it interferes with my life,thank God for that. But I have been an ignorant person. I have underestimated the efforts that other people gave in order to earn a living no matter what they do. I once thought that by entering high-paid professions such as engineer or *coughs* geology, I would be successful and uh, happy (shallow and ignorant, I know.) I'm only human, cut me some slacks. But again, after quitting. I had loads of time to do other jobs and mingle with people, and I realized, each professions, be it engineer, tailors, clerks, teachers, idols or pizza deliveries, deserves equal appreciations. Just because you're an engineer or a doctor does not mean you're all haughty-mighty or better and happier than others. That is a WRONG perception. Unless he/she is a thief ( with the exception of 'If Tomorrow Comes') or a swindler, NEVER JUDGE a person's profession. It's an individual choice and others should not question upon it. Karma's a bitch remember? You might be up right now, but as gravity dictates, what goes up must come down. Thank Einstein for his theory of relativity. There are many ways to earn money in this world, the most IMPORTANT thing is that you put your EFFORTS and CREATIVITY into it. If you are a hypocrite that needs to judge something about others in order to feel good about yourself, then judge THAT.

5) Patience is, and will always be a virtue.

Reality is always rainy and stormy, almost never sunny. That's why I always indulged in K-dramaland. Cause they provided me with an escape from the bitter truth and keeps me optimistic ^^. But that does not mean I can't except cold, hard facts of life (what have I been babbling about these past 10 minutes then? 0.0). Just that I don't like to dwell negatively upon it. What's the point of crushing yourself up with negative thoughts? Better learn to let bitter facts go and find a solution for a balance in your reality. I'm not saying it has been easy for me, but I am learning to let go and think positively, although I do have breakdown moments. Cause I'm a human, not a freakin' happy-all-the-time doll. That is why we have to be patient. I am currently practicing that heheh. I am right now pursuing my plan ( Will update later)  with a fueled spirit and effort. Success does not come overnight, unless you are, well, Chuck Bass. So I'll just have to strive for the best and hopefully find my way in this world, InsyaAllah ^^.

Whew, that's a lot of brain pouring I've done tonight. And it has started raining. Perfect time to sleep. So off I go! Hope my sharing helped you guys see the world better, or maybe I was the one who was late to see it like this =.=. Ok toodles~

Peace out,
B.

Something is there.

S'up peeps,

I have quit my misery-loves-company hellish job. Yes I HAVE..phew..Allah knows how relieved I am with that. So right now I am currently jobless, looking for more opportunities while pursuing my sewing classes. So I enjoyed my raya with my friends. We went from houses to houses, stuffing our faces and do some catch ups :). Time ni la masa nk update psl kwn2 and ehems, jumpe kesah2 lame ahahahahha..anyway, I realized one thing- I missed my old times with my school friends..(awww yea yea) I mean, all those stressful SPM trial papers, all those crushes and of course, all the crazy things we did back then. I miss it all. And the most unbelievable part is, I think that we can still connect even tho dh lame x jumpe. So yeah, we still got it. It's still there. Hopefully our connections will last until we got old and wrinkly. And hopefully our friendships will last forever :). Ok that's it for now. I will update more soon. PS- I'm fat again lalalala ok toodles~

Peace out,
B

The Big F.

What up,

So next week will be the due date of my probation period. How time flies. I am actually scared thinking about it. Once my probation ends, I would most probably be offered a permanent position in my company. I have to think carefully about my plans for the future woahh..since I will be living in my decision for a looooongggg time..but on the bright side, confirmation comes with an increment, so more savings for my plans ^^. 

Ok enough about job. Let me rant about more interesting stuff which is my favorite tv show. I have many favorite tv shows (GG, Project Runway, Suits etc..) but there is one show that I want to talk about today which is The Biggest Loser. I'm sure you are aware of that show since it's very popular (kalau xtau g google). Why do I like it? Simple : It's motivating and educating and gives me food for thought. You see, I had always struggled with my weight since I learned the meaning of word FAT. I used to be taunted, I couldn't control my appetites (my mum nagged me about it), clothes were not that easy to find, and the immature boys that I liked never liked me in return (that means I was immature too since I liked them, I was in high school, figures). So this goes on until I went to college where I was at my peak of my overweight condition. I was 67 kg!!!! T.T (cuti SPM, I ate more than usual hahaha). But still, I did not have any initiative to lose any weight or to control my habit of eating and ignored the fact that I could not wear pretty clothes as they would not fit me..and this went on until I was in first year where when I looked at my pictures, I saw the baggy big jeans, my chubby cheeks, and the potential of double chin coming up. That double chin did it! Something snapped in me..I liked my face just fine, no need for extra chin, thank you. So I decided to do something about it (my kept on thinking, no double chin..no NO NO!! urgh!! >.< . So what did I do at first? Well, I tried to cut a bit of my meals, tried to jog for a bit, and that lasted for only 2 weeks. I did not have enough willpower yet. Until my semester break. I was lolling on my couch, eating pisang goreng while flipping through channels until I found a show called The Biggest Loser. I was interested to know about it. Then I saw them, all those overweight people wanting to lose their weight with the help of expert. They wanted to lose weight not just because they want to look good, but they also wanted to shed all the diseases that came with their obesity. Then it struck me, I only wanted to lose weight due to vanity reasons, but I had never thought of healthy reasons, which is more important (you can't be pretty if you are dead you know), and I was somehow chastised by that thought. So I watched the show, how the people struggled with their eating habits, their near-to-death intense workout everyday, all those tears, sweat, and misery, only their sheer willpower keeping them from walking away from that show. And then I saw their result. Damn, they lost a lot of weight within a week, more than I lost in 2 months. I was sort of embarrassed by that thought. Then it snapped again. So I researched more on the internet about how to do exercise correctly and how to lose weight healthily. I never trusted all those diets that they claimed to be working, I only trusted the old school ways, eat moderately and exercise. Some of my friends believed that Ribena and sugary drinks can make you lose weight. I say BULL. Sugar turns to fat if not used, duh. And coincidentally, I was going to OBS and Gunung Kinabalu soon so I had to exercise, like it or not. Therefore I started my regime, jogging and careful with the food that I took. I started jumping ropes again..This went on for two months, and I saw the results. I lost 4 kg within 2 months, and I was overjoyed. Maybe it's not much like the contestants in Biggest Loser, but my routines were not as intense as theirs. After that I went to OBS and thankfully I came prepared, because it was challenging, especially kayaking (tangan cm nk pth dh oiii) and after OBS comes Kinabalu (my legs can still remember the pain of climbing down =.=) and when I came back to Miri, my friends were surprised to see me being skinnier than before. I did not notice it that much, but once I got on the scale, I was quite surprised. 57kg. 10kg lost in a few months, imagine that. I danced and jumped from happiness. It was during that time I wear all the clothes I never get to wear before. I eat moderately and went for jog every week until I reached 55kg and all was butterflies until RAYA came =.=. 2 weeks spent in my home during raya gained me back 5kgs (that was fast). and after raya, I was busy with exams and did not exercise so I went back to 60. and then came my final year where I was busy and I admit, lazy to exercise, so I went to 64 again aaaaaa!!! But right now, I am in the process of losing my weight again. My current weight now is 59 kg. I am striving to reach 55kg again, and who knows, maybe I will be able to reach 52kg which is my dream weight. But to those who are striving to lose weight, I would say that all you have to do is eat moderately and exercise well. Please do not go for fasting excessively, skipping rice or breakfast and not drinking water and stuff, you will only harm your body and skin. Do not strive to be skinny, strive to be healthy, then you will lose weight happily and healthily. Ok, phew, pnt gile tulis. That's it for now. I'm off for lunch with mummy at Jusco. Time to indulge. Buh-bye~


Peace out,
B